prxvda:

“Yeah..I was a cop and I helped a few people….A cop that who couldn’t even save his family…..Would you call that good? Would you say I did my job right?…My job as a police officar…..as a husband and father-……”

“And what about my job as a best friend huh?…Or rather should I say as a brother..I never knew what you went through…You had to tell me….You were pretty drunk then too-….B-Back then..I should have been able to tell..no matter how many times you say ‘I hid it away where no one could know’ or anything like that…As your ‘brother’….I should have noticed…”

  How he wished he could have learned to hold his tongue and shut up. If only none of this happened,if only he didn’t screw up and get Yasha and his family killed…he wouldn’t be like this. It was his fault this happened,it was his fault his best friend believed himself to be at fault.  How could stop it? What could he do? He knew how much he hated himself, the idea of Yasha feeling the same was painful to think about.

   “So what do you plan on doing now then? Keep going on with that rant of yours about how you should have noticed? Well you know what Yasha, Yeah,You didn’t notice. Nobody did,people who did know or who did notice,didn’t do shit. It doesn’t matter,because it’s in the past. It doesn’t matter to me because that asshole is dead and I’m still here,and I’m goddamn better than him “

 “ I’m not gonna tell you to move on,because me saying that,would make me an asshole,and I can’t practice what I preach if I say otherwise,but I am gonna tell you to shut up about the way you’re thinking. You’re not those things that you say,even if you don’t believe me,it’s the truth. Deny deny deny all you want,it’s always gonna be the truth!”

     “Don’t know how many times I need to say it,you and your family saved me more than someone actually doin something could have done. I wish I could explain how much you guys meant to me. How much I wanted to be able to help like you did. I don’t know what happened that day,but no matter what happened,you weren’t useless,not to them,Not To Katerina,not to Aysa. They wouldn’t want you to think like this. Do I need to remind you what Aysa said when she was here!?”